The Art of Walking Away
Why We Crave Escape and How to Build a Life That Fits You
A week ago a friend showed me Oliver Widger’s journey - he sold everything at 29 and left his job of 11 years to sail from Oregon to Hawaii with his cat. This journey drew millions of followers, media attention, support and fanfare and it made me realize how deeply this excites many people. The urge to leave it all behind and go 100% your own way is as old as human nature itself and it’s been transformative in my life. After all, I went through a number of running starts before finally renting my house out, putting everything else in storage and taking off to live in a little village on a Greek island! Easy? No. Anxiety-inducing? Absolutely. Worth it? Every single moment!
I get it - selling everything and taking off on a boat with your cat isn’t for everyone. We are all seeking different outcomes and we’re on unique journeys. Fortunately life isn’t black and white and we can apply a number of lessons in small doses to our lives today without making drastic changes. And hey, if you’re into drastic changes, I’m that kind of girl - we’ll chat about that too!
WHY THIS STORY RESONATES WITH US
I firmly believe the way that most of us live today is not healthy for us. Not for our bodies, our minds, our emotional state, our longevity, our relationships, and certainly not for the planet. For most of human history, people lived in small, self-sufficient communities, spending their days hunting, gathering, farming, making, and directly supporting their survival. Life was physically demanding but focused on tangible needs—food, shelter, tools, and community.
The Agricultural Revolution (around 10,000 years ago) allowed humans to settle in one place, grow surplus food, and specialize. This led to early cities, trade, and hierarchies—but still, most people were engaged in manual, necessary labor.
The Industrial Revolution (18th–19th centuries) was the turning point. Machines and factories shifted production from homes and villages to cities. Efficiency became king. People worked long hours in dangerous jobs, but they were still producing physical goods.
As industry grew, so did the need for administration, coordination, marketing, and finance. The rise of capitalism and corporate structures in the 20th century created layers of “knowledge work” and bureaucracy. Office jobs became the norm for the growing middle class. Many of these jobs were (and are) only indirectly tied to producing necessities, instead fueling profit, consumerism, and systemic growth.
Today, much of modern work is about sustaining the system—advertising, litigation, finance, tech, logistics, and administration. While some of it supports modern life, a lot exists to support the economy itself—what anthropologist David Graeber called “bullshit jobs.”
PURPOSE, MEANING, AND VALUE
I remember being at Urgent Care years ago - I’d been having some issues with my heart and I was under a ton of stress. The doctor asked me what I did that was so stressful. I told her that I ran an early-stage startup and had gotten a huge contract with a new client. She pushed harder and asked what it was that was so vital we were making - I laughed and said human-grade pet food. She asked me if that was worth having a heart attack over and I thought it sounded insane, yet there I was - stressed, anxious, and terrified that we’d just invested almost $100,000 in a piece of equipment that I wasn’t sure would work.
If I lost this gamble we’d made - we’d lose lots of money, our business maybe, staff for sure, and pride big time. But it wouldn’t have been a real emergency. Instead I’d attached my sense of self, my value and my identity heavily to what I did. If you own a business you know this is even more extreme than identifying with what you do for a living - your company is a literal part of your lifeblood.
We rush from primary school to secondary, secondary to college and then from college to get a career, mortgage, marriage, kids, vacation home, retirement savings, and on and on that we never stop to consider what we are doing. Unless you’re one of the rare folks like Oliver who, in a moment of clarity, asks themselves what is the point of all of this work.
Many of us have become work-centric. We wake up in order to go to work. We commute. We work. We then have to unwind from work in the evening. We have to go to the gym to undo the damage of sitting at a desk all day or blow off steam on the treadmill to move our bodies. We have a drink, scroll on our phones or watch endless TV to get our minds off work in our free time. We spend the money we’ve earned in order to make ourselves feel like it’s worth it to go every day.
We’ve forgotten, in many ways, what it means to be alive.
LAZINESS VS. JOY
Rest can feel like laziness. The moment you step out of the rat race, every part of your body feels the full impact of the exhaustion of living it for so long. When I left corporate America, I spent a lot of time doing what most folks would consider “nothing”. I rested, I painted, I fixed things around the house, I wrote. And for the first time in a decade, I felt joy. Not from something or as a result of a goal achieved - simply natural, inherent joy in being alive.
When I resigned from corporate America, the executive team responded in a way I wasn’t expecting. I knew they’d ask where I was going next - which company was whisking me away to join their team - and I wanted to be fully honest. They asked what my plans were and I laughed softly and said, “Nothing, I’m done, I’m completely done with all of this.” And instead of scoffing at me - I saw a softness reflected back. They said they were envious. Here I was throwing away 401K-matching, a 6-figure salary, health insurance, annual raises with a bonus, and stability…and they envied that move. They admitted they’d tied themselves so heavily to their current lifestyles that they had no option but to continue.
AT ANY MOMENT
Turns out they could change their lives at any time - it’s simply more difficult - it’s not impossible. At any moment you can decide to change your life completely. That may mean doing things like:
Fully committing to not spending extra money
Quitting drinking
Exercising every day
Finding a mentor or therapist
Taking courses in a new field
Writing the damn book
Buying the plane ticket
Doing the math on a few different lifestyle budgets
Being 100% honest to yourself and others
Leaving a conventional life is possible for each and every one of us if we find it appealing. It may not be a full rewrite like Oliver’s or mine, but it can be a source of deep purpose and meaning. The power of those bigger choices is the same in smaller size. Here’s what I mean:
Consciously assess the things you are doing with your time:
How much of them are coming from what you want?
How much is supporting other actions you don’t even like?
How could you do things differently?
How much do you truly need to live on?
If you sold everything, how long could you survive?
What inspires you? Could you turn that into a source of income?
What matters most to you? Financial freedom? Freedom of your time? Community? Silence and peace?
How can you spend your time to support these more?
AWARENESS IS THE FIRST STEP
Stepping outside of our automated lives is a great first step and asking yourself objective questions is a great way to get started. Do I even like this? Does this make me feel good? Do I want more of this? I found myself in a situation where I loved the folks that worked for me and with me. I loved building something together and seeing them succeed and learn new skills. But I was in the business of making money and as I went further into the land of fast-paced startups, people became exceedingly dispensable.
Money was the goal and greed is an incessantly hungry beast. You make money, it costs money, you spend money to get over the stress of needing so much money, then you need more money - it is an ouroboros of earning and spending. If some is good, more is better. If one car is good, two is better, If two cars is better, a boat is even more better. If a boat is good… you get it.
We rarely stop to think, “Do I even want this?” and if so, “Why do I want this?” At the height of my ‘success’ my ex-husband and I had three cars, a 3,500 square-foot 5-Bed, 3-Bath house, designer furniture (no one needs a $15,000 couch) and an endless amount of toys. Every purchase seemed to require accessory purchases and none of it made me happier long-term. I was so unhappy, so unhealthy and felt so trapped in my life.
Now? I live in a 100-year old home with a killer view on a little island now. I sold my pretty Audi. The fancy handmade wood chandelier from Spain went with that house to the buyers. Every moment, every object, and every decision supports a life I love completely. It didn’t start with a massive decision - it began with a series of small choices. Considering what I wanted. Weighing what matters and what doesn’t. Figuring out what motivates me now - not what I said I wanted years ago.
REDEFINING SUCCESS FOR YOURSELF
If you’ve been drawn to Oliver’s story, my story, or the idea of changing things excites you - start small. I’ve got a one-hour workshop under $20 (even less with the 20% code if you sign up for the newsletter). ✨ Try the Redefine Success 1-Hour Workshop — it’s a fun way to help you reconnect with what really matters. And while you’re there grab the Free Reset Guide and begin to make space for what’s next.
As always, feel free to leave me a comment or send me a message, I’d love to hear from you!
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