Perfection Isn’t a Myth
We’re Not Looking in the Right Places
"Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
The other day I posted this photo and quote on my social media and a very good friend of mine said, “Perfection is an illusion that can never be achieved.” It got me thinking, so I made coffee and sat down to write it out. Years ago, I would’ve agreed 100% and I would have said that the pursuit of perfection is unhealthy. Now? I think perfection is completely real but I still agree that the pursuit is unhealthy.
IT ALL GETS DOWN TO DEFINITIONS
To me - perfection doesn’t mean a life without struggle. It doesn’t mean avoiding mistakes or living in some filtered version of reality. Hard seasons are part of the deal. So are missteps, awkward conversations, unmet expectations, and days that just feel off. But somewhere along the way, we started equating “perfection” with the absence of flaws—and that’s where things got off track. The kind of perfection most people talk about—the magazine-cover kind, the everything-in-its-place kind—that’s not real - it’s a moving target and a performance. But real perfection is something entirely different. It’s not curated - it’s noticed and felt.
You know it when you land in one of those rare, quiet moments where everything inside you goes still. You’re sitting in the sun after a long hike with your dog next to you, feeling accomplished. You don’t have anywhere to be or anything to do and you feel good. Not because life is ideal, but because you feel present. It’s laughing so hard your face hurts for an hour later after spending the day with friends. It’s being done for the day with your feet up in the cozy warmth of your home while a storm rages outside (like me, above)! You’re not wishing for something else, or fighting the moment. You’re 100% present—and it feels exactly right.
SO, WHY DO WE THINK IT’S A MYTH?
Honestly? A few reasons.
We’ve been trained to chase the wrong things.
We grow up aiming for straight A’s, dream jobs, spotless kitchens, and flawless skin. But those things don’t feel perfect - they feel exhausting because they’re all about controlling the outcome, not connecting to the moment.
Our lives are too loud to notice it.
Between our phones, our mental to-do lists, and all the background noise we’ve normalized, most of us never stop long enough to feel a moment fully. Perfection gets drowned out by distraction.
We confuse stillness with danger or boredom.
We think if things get quiet, we’ll fall apart or worse, we’ll realize something needs to change. So we fill our schedules, our homes, and our heads and we miss the perfection that shows up in the space between.
We’re stuck in fix-it mode.
The self-help world (yes, even the one I live in) can make you feel like you’re a constant project. But if you’re always fixing, tweaking, or upgrading—you never let yourself feel the enoughness of where you are right now. And that’s where perfection hides.
Chaos gives us cover.
If life is messy and overwhelming, we don’t have to sit with hard truths or make bold choices. We stay busy instead. But under the chaos? Stillness. Truth. Sometimes even joy.
We’re staying safe.
When we tell ourselves something doesn’t exist, we take it off the table. I did this with love too (whoops!) in a subconscious attempt to protect myself. If it’s not possible for anyone, we don’t have to feel like we’re missing it or we might lose it IF we find it.
WHAT IF IT’S ABOUT CONTEXT…
Perfection isn’t the absence of hard times—it’s found with them. Challenges give it context. Without contrast, we wouldn’t even recognize what those moments of alignment feel like. As an artist, I know that to make something look brighter, I need darkness beside it. If everything’s light, nothing stands out. It’s the shadows that create depth and dimension—and the same is true in life.
That deep laugh with a friend feels even better after a lonely stretch. The stillness of a Sunday morning means more when you’ve just made it through a chaotic week. The peace of a quiet home hits harder after the noise of the outside world. Perfection, in this sense, isn’t about eliminating difficulty—it’s about feeling the full range and recognizing when something clicks into place, even for a moment.
So maybe the shift we need isn’t about finding perfection—it’s about changing how we define it and making sure we notice it. I spend a lot of active attention on romanticizing my daily life - because I am in love with it. And like anything - the more attention you give to something, the more it thrives, and the more it thrives, the more wonderful it becomes. (This works with your partner as well)! The more I notice the moments where life feels perfect, the more wired I am to notice them - and I can’t recommend it enough!
WANT TO REDEFINE MORE?
If this resonates and you’re ready to rethink what “success” and “enough” look like in your own life, start small:
✨ Try the Redefine Success 1-Hour Workshop — it’s low-cost and designed to help you reconnect with what really matters. Or if you’re not sure where to start grab the Free Reset Guide and begin to make space for what’s next.
Because perfection might be closer than you think. You’ve just been trained to overlook it.
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