The Secret to Doing Big Things
On the 4th of July we finally spent some time chatting with our new neighbors. They bought the rather steep, narrow, plot of land next to us here on the lake and have been hard at work for months making it usable. It lacks water, power, internet, and previously it lacked much of a usable path to access the land from the dock. To say they’ve put some work in is an understatement, and here in Oregon the work in winter meant freezing cold and even through spring and summer, plenty of rain. They said they were building a yurt and their deadline to have it up and ready was the end of July.
Now, I know nothing of building a yurt, but I know enough about big projects to know that was a pretty hard push of a pace. Last weekend we helped them move the giant french doors up our dock and through our property to the little trail that connects us in back and yesterday we went over to offer extra hands in getting the roof insulation and cover on. As we boated by the other day and saw their yurt standing proud in the sun between the two big trees they’ve named Laverne and Shirley, I was moved almost to tears.
You see, I know a lot of people who talk about doing things.
I know very few people who do those things.
And the reason I am so passionate about encouraging folks to do the things they want to do (and do them now) is that the most common regret of the dying is wishing to have had the courage to live a life true to oneself rather than the life others expected. That perspective is hard to grasp when we’re busy in our daily lives, rushing from one spot to the next and trying to keep our heads above water with the constant stream of to-do’s. But despite our endless priorities, time is rushing by and how much time we have left is never guaranteed.
It’s easy to lull ourselves into thinking we’ll try something when we have more time, more money, more skills, more confidence.
The secret? That is pure delusion.
Here’s what I’ve learned in over four decades of taking chances about the difference between Doers and Wishers:
The Right Time to Start is Now
Doers know that there is no right time to do the thing. No matter how much preparation work you’ve done there comes a moment where you have to DO the thing. Sure, there can be an opportune window to start, but part of committing to actually doing something includes carving out time and space to do it.
Dreaming of a new career? Start taking courses now.
Feeling frustrated in your marriage and not sure what to do? Start therapy now.
Want to pay off your debt that’s overwhelming? Stop excess spending now.
Wish you were in better shape? Commit to a 15-minute walk every day at lunch starting today.
Small steps make a difference. Applied consistently over time? All of the sudden not only have you built the muscle you needed to change but you’ve got a steady foundation for it.
A Good Attitude Matters More Than Skill
Folks always ask me how I knew how to start a business. How I knew how to buy a home, navigate payroll, go through a divorce amicably without a lawyer, move abroad, start a coaching business, or help put up the roof on a yurt. You don’t have to be an expert in anything, but you do have to have a good attitude.
I’ve known some incredibly brilliant folks with excellent problem solving skills and genius level IQs struggle to start, push through, and finish big things solely because they lack a good attitude. Approaching something big with beginners mind, a sense of curiosity and not having the burden of expecting yourself to be a master of all trades means you have room to learn and grow. When things go wrong (as they always will at certain points), you’ll be able to pause and gently reassess instead of throw your hands up and storm off.
Plus? No one likes to work with someone who throws tantrums :)
No One Knows What They’re Doing
I recall wanting to start my first business and feeling so lost - and this was decades ago before we had access to so many of the resources we do today!. Where did I start? How did I find the forms to file? What if I do it wrong? I took one step, then the next step, and one by one I checked them off my list.
Later in my career I remember laughing with another entrepreneur one day and she said, “Oh I had no idea what I was doing! I simply did it.” And that right there is one of the key tricks. I realized as I looked at every one else who had started businesses, or traveled the world, or set a record, or invented a new thing - they weren’t waiting to be certified in the skill before they started. They weren’t waiting for confidence.
They took a general amount of competence and applied action. Then the confidence shows up.
Doers Aren’t Too Proud to Ask for Help
I grew up priding myself on my independence so this has been a tough lesson for me. You do not need to reinvent the wheel. You can 100% borrow the design. You can stand on the shoulders of those who have come before you and you can ask for a hand. In fact, I’d argue, to try to do everything yourself is a weakness of pride and only serves to slow you down.
My neighbors and I laughed at this a bit - naturally they are (like us) accustomed to doing things ourselves and it is hard to ask for help. But there’s a magic in admitting it that unlocks the ability to ask for help. This is also a key secret - do the things you’re not good at or naturally inclined to do.
Asking for help feels like dragging my nails on a chalkboard. I hate it. But I do it. And every time I do, I realize it’s actually pretty fun!
Failure is the Fastest Way to Learn
Wishers always say things like, “I’m not sure if I can do it,” “I need more time to think about it,” or “I’m not sure if it’s something I will really like that much.” The reality is the fastest way to find out is to do it. Thinking only gets you so far, that’s why the phrase “analysis paralysis” exists. Worrying, thinking, planning and daydreaming take up tons of time and energy so it feels like work. Yet, the results are often that nothing has actually been done by the end of the day.
If you want to do it, do it.
If you’re not sure if it will work or if you’ll like it or if people will buy it - put it out there. Set yourself some guardrails with budget and time investment, do the thing, adjust accordingly.
It will succeed or it will fail. Either way you learn something which is a win in itself.
Wondering what if never yields anything at all, unfortunately.
It’s Up To You How Long You Delay Your Joy
How long you wait is entirely up to you. My heart always aches for clients who say, “I know I need to do do x, y, z, but I’m not ready yet.”
Ask any one who’s done the thing they’re stalling on (from starting a business to losing weight to leaving an unhappy marriage) and they’ll say the number one regret they have is not doing it sooner.
Your happiness is always ready for you. Same with your purpose, fulfillment, love, endless joy, deep satisfaction. It’s always present and always within your reach.
How long it takes you to get there is up to you.
Want a hand from someone who’s been there? Reach out anytime or check out our mentorship options.
With Love (and usually also with some fear, anxiety, occassional panic, and a massive good attitude),
Rose
